A Reason to Resist
by jkleeberger22
Summary: An AU fic set at the end of the Force Awakens, in memory of Carrie Fisher. Luke has felt Han and Leia's deaths in the Force and sees no reason to return and join the struggle against the First Order. Without his family, how will he find the strength to resist the Dark Side? However, he soon gets a surprise visitor who may be able to change his mind.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: So, after I wrote A Reason to Resist, I just started writing and somehow came up with this. It could be considered something similar to a short prequel. If you don't know who Luke's visitor is and you want to be surprised, I would suggest reading chapter two first. I hope you enjoy, and a big thank you to everyone who reviewed or favorited A Reason to Resist!

O0o

She had heard- no, demanded- every last detail from Rey. And from the words that were spoken to the brush of Han's fingers against his son's cheek, Rey had told her everything.

She couldn't process everything, so the familiar rules that had once governed her as Alderaanian royalty were what put words in her mouth. She simply thanked Rey- the same way she would have politely thanked a server for handing her a drink- and left to find a place where she could be alone. She typically couldn't walk from one end of the base to the other without being mobbed by subordinates asking questions or seeking her approval, but today they must have seen the numbness in her face. They left her alone, all except for a young pilot who was hopeless at reading body language and had a trivial question about… something. Whatever it was, it was cut off by Rey's brisk footsteps. Out of the corner of her eye, Leia saw the girl grab the pilot's arm and tug him aside. His eyes widened, and he nodded in agreement with whatever Rey had whispered in his ear.

Leia continued to her rooms, now aware of the reason for the sudden, welcome privacy. Rey was trailing protectively behind her, frowning and gesturing at anyone who, either out of ignorance or audacity, tried to approach the General. For a moment, Leia's numb heart felt a prickle of warmth at the girl's thoughtfulness.

By the time Leia reached her room and turned to thank her self- appointed escort, Rey's distinctive triple buns had already vanished among the heads of the numerous Resistance personnel.

Leia locked the door and sank into a chair. It was her favorite, most comfortable chair, but even it was sending an ache through her back and shoulders. She rubbed her back absently, her thoughts busy with the more consuming pain of loss. It seemed that since the time of her birth she had been in the spotlight. First a princess, then a senator, now a general. To the public, she had always had to exude an air of strength, courage, and calm. Even when her planet- her home, her parents, her friends- had been destroyed in seconds while she watched. Even when she found out things about her past and her family that scared and horrified her. Even when she had felt lost and small in a tumultuous galaxy.

With Han, it had been different. With Han, she had been able to let down her defenses. For a few moments on Endor, she had been able to lay aside her duties and facade of perfect calm while he had held her. She missed the warmth of his arms. She missed the smell of his clothes after he had been working on the Falcon. She even missed the nicknames that he had persisted in calling her long after their marriage, simply from force of habit, although they had become endearing when spoken with fondness and his crooked, heart-warming grin. Force, she missed _him._ They had so wasted so many years apart- Years that could never be recovered.

The shrinking of the gap between them and the resurfacing of old trust had manifested itself again as he had held her before he had left. Before he had left to win back their son, to find Ben somewhere inside Kylo Ren.

Rey had described vividly the moment when Han had told Kylo Ren to take off his helmet, so he could see the face of his son. From the description of his face, Leia had been able to paint a picture of the features she had once known so well: the wide puppy eyes he had used to plead for treats when he was small, the fluffy, wavy black hair that Han had always ruffled. It had been the face of Ben Solo, not that of a hooded, masked Kylo Ren. And thus it had been that it hadn't been Kylo who had killed Han: It had been Ben. They were now one and the same.

Tears streamed down Leia's cheeks, and she didn't bother to swipe them away. If only she had a lightsaber, then no furniture in the room would be left standing… She had loved Ben, she had kept believing in him even after everyone else had given up hope, and she had sent Han to retrieve him without ever considering that his own son would hurt him. She had been wrong, and now her Han was gone. As was her son. Her chest tightened with sudden anger.

"I have no son," she hissed into the silence of her room. Immediately, her heart reproached her. _No, you have a son. Love was the cure for Darth Vader, love that would not relent until he had acknowledged it: It can be for Ben, too. Han believed that, and so do you. Even now._

Leia let out a shuddering breath and wiped her cheeks, which were wet with tears and sweat. Everyone else had given up on Ben: Not one of them, not even the idealistic and devoted Rey, currently believed that Ben could be brought back. Well, she would do what she had always done: Rebel against their expectations, and hope. She would hope and love Ben until she died, even if she never saw her son turn from-

The squeezing in her chest and the shortness of breath she had previously attributed to her sobs suddenly clenched her chest in its grip. She gasped for air, suddenly sagging weakly against the chair. Her head lolled weakly against the back in a way that scrunched her neck uncomfortably against the back of the chair, but the pain consumed too much of her strength, sapping any will or strength to move…

It was just a few minutes later that the door flew open, hitting the wall with a bang. It was Rey, looking panicked and almost as out of breath as Leia herself. In dismay, the girl flung herself to her knees at Leia's feet and gently took her hand. "What's wrong, General? The Force, I felt it, I- What can I do?" Ray stopped, took a deep breath, and said much more calmly, "It'll be all right, General. I'll get Major Kalonia on the comlink. Please, tell me what hurts."

"I can't breathe," Leia panted. "And my chest hurts. Earlier it was my back."

Rey thumbed on the comlink and spoke to the doctor, relaying Leia's symptoms. "Sounds like a heart attack," crackled the doctor's voice. "Where are you? I'm coming right away."

Right away took too long. With all the chaos and the wounded patients on her hands, one of which included a Wookie they had had to drug in order to get anywhere near his injury, the doctor didn't arrive until it was too late.

Rey helped Leia move to the bed and sat beside it, holding the General's hand. The Force told her that Leia would not survive, and despite her almost instinctive affection for Leia, she wished someone else was here in her place. She had known Leia for such a short time- although deeply, from the connection that had instantly formed between them in the Force- and the General deserved all the friends and family in the Galaxy to be at her side.

"Rey," Leia said, squeezing her hand. "Rey?"

"Yes, I'm here," Rey whispered. Slightly awkwardly, she reached up and brushed loose strands of hair away from Leia's face.

Leia reached up with a weak finger and touched Rey's cheek. "Don't worry about me. I am one with the Force, and the Force is with me."

Rey smiled through her tears. "The Force is strong in your family."

Leia smiled back, the words apparently stirring a sweet memory. "And yours," she whispered, but Rey had no time to question what she had meant. The General's eyes were glazing over, her words fading into a breathless sigh that sounded like Han's name.

Rey suddenly felt desperate to do something, anything, for Leia: For Han's sake, for Leia's, and for her own. Her family had left her, but she had found another, with all the warmth, loyalty, and heart she had dreamed of: Now, they were being ripped away from her, too, one by one. Chewie and Finn lay wounded in the medical facility, Han was dead, and at any moment Leia was going to join him. "General, what can I do?" she sobbed.

A few hours later, a patched-up but determined Wookie and an even more determined Rey were flying to Ahch-To. Leia's last words echoed in the girl's heart: "Bring Luke back, Rey. Bring him home."


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Star Wars doesn't belong to me, and I will receive no monetary profit from this story or any of my other fanfics.

O0o

He had felt it with Yoda. He had felt it with fellow Rebel pilots. He had felt it when the Death Star exploded. He had felt it with his Padawans as they were cut down one by one by Kylo Ren. He had seen hundreds of tiny lights, faded or glowing bright depending on the individual's presence in the Force, abruptly disappear. Sometimes they had slowly flickered out. Either way, each one had left an empty hole. A hole, replaced by prickles and bolts of pain, as if a bacta patch had been carelessly ripped off a raw wound.

None of them had hurt as much as when Han's light had blinked out. It had been a surprise- when Luke's numbness had faded enough to allow him to feel sad, guilty, surprised- a surprise that he could feel Han's death at all, at this distance. But then, Han's light had always been bright in the Force- Something which Luke have never mentioned, knowing how Han would resent "a mystical energy force" interfering with his destiny and trying to take credit for his accomplishments. And, he and Han had been close- "close" being an umbrella that sufficiently covered brothers, friends, fellow leaders in a Rebellion, and who knew what else. He had thought nothing could hurt more than feeling his best friend's life ripped out of the network of the Force that connected them.

But he had been wrong. Leia's had hurt more.

She was gone. His twin sister. The one who had run all over the galaxy with him destroying Death Stars, evading Darth Vader, being adopted by local Ewoks, and coping with the knowledge of who truly was their father. The one whom he had first met in a detention cell waiting for execution, yet had shown no hint of fear. Luke could see her in his mind, wearing her long-abandoned buns, a white dress, and an air of confidence. "Aren't you a bit short for a Stormtrooper?"

"Isn't sixty years a bit short for a life?" he snarled out loud, clenching his mechanical fist. A rock, almost large enough to be a boulder, was sitting near him. He grabbed it with the Force and hurtled over the rocky edge of the island. The resounding crash echoed in his head, and he grabbed it in pain.

No wonder attachments had been forbidden by the Jedi order. The wave of anger, sorrow, and pain following loss would be enough to drive anyone mad.

Not to mention the guilt.

He hadn't been there for Leia or Han. He wasn't sure how they had died, but maybe, just maybe, he could have saved them. Luke had faced Darth Vader as a very young, inexperienced Jedi- Why then had he, now a full grown, experienced Jedi, run from a nephew who was little more than a child with barely a shadow of Vader's power and spirit? He should have been there- maybe he could not have prevented their deaths, but he could have said goodbye to Han. He could have thanked him for saving his life and Leia's so many times over. He could have shared memories of comradeship, and victory, and comfort. He could have comforted Leia. He could have shared the heavy burden of the guilt she had doubtless felt after Ben's turning. At the least he could have sat by her as he had by Yoda's bedside so many years ago, providing an ear that would cherish whatever last words she wished to impart and letting her know she was loved.

He had failed both of them. Had they died alone, in pain? In misery? With that great turmoil he had felt in the Force, the worst scenarios his mind could contrive seemed probable.

He should have gone home a long time ago. What reason did he have to go now? If he saw Kylo Ren and tried to fight against him and the First Order, with his mind clogged with sorrow and anger over his losses, he would turn to the Dark Side. And, Luke was afraid he might not even put up a fight: That he might embrace it. On the Death Star, he had resisted the Dark Side because of loyalty to his friends and his father, and the hope that they might yet succeed. And now they were gone. What reason would he have to resist?

His thoughts were interrupted by the roar of an approaching ship. Luke slowly pushed himself to his feet and watched it land. A small figure was getting out, and it was a slender girl with brown hair- Leia? Luke's heart rose, then sank. Of course, Leia had not looked like that for years. And, as the tiny figure resolved itself, it didn't look like Leia at all. Something in the Force, though, reminded him of Leia- Whoever this girl was, she had the same kind of strength. The Force was swirling around her in a surprisingly protective way, and she seemed to be attracting it to her like a magnet.

Luke was interested, but at the moment his energies were focused on trying to compose himself before his visitor finished climbing up to him. He turned his face toward the sea, feeling the wind whisper against the outside of his eyelids as salty tears prickled against the insides…

She had reached the top of the stairs. Luke turned and reluctantly peeled back the damp but welcome protection of his hood: Not protection for himself from the cold, but protection from the misery of having another see his pain.

She was watching him with wide eyes and gaping mouth, barely breathing. Mutely, she thrust out her hand. In it was a relic that brought back memories of Cloud City of Darth Vader, of his hand, and of- _oh, Sith lords_ \- of Han and Leia.

Luke stared at the girl, and she stared back, lightsaber still held in her outstretched palm. She knew who he was, then. He silently studied her, something in her eyes drawing his attention and holding it. This girl exuded strength in the Force and self-sufficiency, yet her eyes were desperate, pleading. Lost. In them, Luke could see something of the farm boy who had just lost a beloved mentor, one who had introduced him to a world far more wide than his own. He hadn't known Obi-Wan long, but their bond had been deep. And, in the hazel eyes, he saw reflected something of the heart of the farm boy who had pleaded with Yoda to teach him.

She desperately wanted- and needed- his help. And Luke desperately needed- and wanted- a reason to resist.

He smiled and reached out, his fingers curling around the familiar curves of his lightsaber handle. It was time to come home.


End file.
